Download The Pits and the Pendulum: A Life with Bipolar Disorder by Brian Adams PDF

By Brian Adams

Writing a prize-winning play, spending per week doing not anything yet construct Lego structures, and sinking all his rate reductions into wildly impractical money-making schemes - those are only a few result of the classes of extreme artistic strength Brian Adams has skilled all through his grownup lifestyles. As a patient of bipolar ailment, Brian Adams has been hospitalized a number of occasions with debilitating melancholy and gone through electrical surprise therapy, and won and misplaced eleven jobs. This account offers an perception into the way it feels to adventure bipolar sickness.

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The Pits and the Pendulum: A Life with Bipolar Disorder

Writing a prize-winning play, spending every week doing not anything yet construct Lego structures, and sinking all his discount rates into wildly impractical money-making schemes - those are only a few result of the classes of excessive inventive strength Brian Adams has skilled all through his grownup existence. As a patient of bipolar illness, Brian Adams has been hospitalized a number of occasions with debilitating melancholy and passed through electrical surprise therapy, and received and misplaced eleven jobs.

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I have never left a job to take up another. I know it looks bad. Twenty-seven years is the length of time I have suffered from manic depression. Before that my work record was quite respectable, starting age fifteen as a bakery van boy in that pre-oil Aberdeen of 1960. ‘Baker! ’ I would cry up granite tenement lobbies. Within days I had developed my own particular swagger and vocal style, stretching the first syllable the length of the ground floor lobby then cracking the rest up to the second, third and fourth floors with a sharp, strangled glottal stop: ‘Bayyyyyyygki!

But just changing clothes for the job was a torture as my body screamed to be left alone. Somehow I finished the job – all three byre doors. Slapping the creosote on at the frantic rate I worked, it only took an hour. With every dip, drip, stroke and stink of the stuff I wanted to run away and end the pain, to get back to the tunnel which I should never have left. I am sure that forcing the pace like this can only do some of us harm. If I have managed to shower or go for a walk I feel that it is not because I have risen above my depression and have courageously done something to help myself, it is because the depression in its own time has lifted enough to release me – then a shower and a walk is possible and will make me feel even better.

They could, of course, have used them to improve the case for dumping me, not to mention their value as a means of not employing me in the first place. Perhaps, also, the **** Van boy (Scots). 49 The Pits and the Pendulum bastards might have felt even more justified in doing what a bastard’s got to do if they had known that others had been there before them – that they were in a story. My first job in community work was as a youth leader attached to a secondary school. To have a youth leader based in every school in the county was the pioneering idea behind this and a pretty daft one it was too but I was not to know that and went at it with the enthusiasm which was to characterize every job I was to have.

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